Boy Scout Troop 325
Scoutmaster's Minute

You Might Be A Californian If...
March 1, 2005

By George Denise, Scoutmaster
(found on the web, source unknown)

 

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:

  1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
  2. You make over $300,000 a year and still can't afford a house.
  3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
  4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
  5. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
  6. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
  7. Gasoline is refined locally and costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
  8. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
  9. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
  10. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station entitled: "STORM WATCH."
  11. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
  12. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
  13. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
  14. If you drive illegally, they take away your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one. 
  15. The Terminator is your governor. Rob Reiner, the guy that played “Meathead” in All In the Family is planning on running next time. Ronald Reagan, former star of Bedtime for Bonzo used to be governor. Heck, come to think of it, he used to be the President!